Why Kindness Is Good For You...................???

From Baba Amte to Mother Teresa and Bill gates, we’ve always admired those who are kind and giving. Now we’re discovering that kindness will not only make you happier, it might just help you live longer. So many things that make life rough around the edges, an indiscriminate dent in your car, a door slammed in your face, are due to lack of consideration. Imagine, for a minute, a world where everyone is just a little kinder. When you’re trying to merge in traffic, someone lets you in. At the supermarket, you allow a person in a hurry to go ahead of you. A new theory called ‘survival of the nicest’ says that because of kindness, the human race prospered as a species. In ancient societies, kindness was a key component of the survival of communities. Groups with many altruists tend to survive.
In other words, we have an in-built capacity to help others, especially those close to us, to ensure the survival of our community.


Give And Receive
Research shows kindness can also make us happier. It makes no difference to your happiness if you help a loved one or a stranger, but it may have different results. A small, anonymous act might make you feel like a good person. But a big kind act to an acquaintance may have social consequences: you might make a new friend or be generously thanked. So paying for a stranger’s coffee may give you a temporary buzz, but helping an elderly neighbour to shop may help you forge a better relationship. Kindness is good for you in other ways. Being kind is good for your health. A study found that those who regularly helped others had better mental health and lower rates of depression. Other studies found helpful people were less likely to fall ill from chronic diseases, and tended to have better immune systems. A strong correlation exists between the wellbeing, happiness and health of people who are kind. Kindness can help regulate emotions, which has a positive impact on our health. If our in-built ‘fight or flight’ response becomes overactive due to stress, it affects our cardiovascular system and weakens the body’s immunity. It’s difficult to be angry, resentful, or fearful when one is showing unselfish love towards another person.

It Can Be Tough
Kindness may be a virtue, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. There’s some level of cynicism towards kindness. The label ‘do-gooder’ isn’t a compliment. We all like the idea of being kind, but at the same time, don’t nice guys always finish last? Acting from the goodness of your heart goes directly against the ‘survival of the fittest’ theory of evolution, which says that humans are driven to compete for existence quite selfishly. Back in 1968, the researchers Bibb Latane and John Darley discovered a phenomenon known as the ‘bystander effect’: When someone needs help in a public place, they are less likely to receive help if there are more people around. Researchers believe that the effect arises because everyone takes their cue from the crowd and assumes someone else will take responsibility. In big cities, people may also feel unsafe interacting with strangers.

Feel-good Factor
But none of the above explains why we are kind when we choose to be. Sana Murad made one of the greatest sacrifices possible for someone she loved, she donated a kidney to her 57-year-old father. “It was one of the easiest things I’ve ever had to decide,” says she. It was a profound act of kindness, but one she feels she could do only for a loved one. “I don’t know why, but I don’t think I could have just randomly given a kidney away - I would probably only consider it for a family member,” she says. “At the same time, giving my dad my kidney did help someone else, because dad’s no longer on the organ donor waiting list, so someone can take his place.”
Sana’s father may be able to thank his genes twice over for his daughter’s kindness. A 2005 study found a link between kindness and a gene that releases dopamine, a feel good neurotransmitter in the brain. A research found that helpers reported a distinct physical sensation when being kind. Many reported feeling more energetic, warm, calmer and greater self-worth, a phenomenon he calls the ‘helper’s high. Some scientists say that because we’re altruistic only for the good of the group and to get a dopamine rush, it means kindness is actually, well, selfish. Probably most altruism is self-interest at some level.

Giving Freely


Kindness has another similarity with happiness - it can’t be bought. Economists often make the mistake of assuming people are inherently selfish and that we will only do something good for a financial reward or to avoid a fine. But a report, published last year, found otherwise.The report was about a research on six childcare centres that started inflicting fines on parents who were late picking up their children. After the fines were introduced, parents were twice as likely to be late. A similar study also found women were actually less likely to donate blood if they were paid.
We resent the idea that our principles can be bought: we prefer to do good deeds for their own sake. People enjoy being kind to others much as they enjoy eating ice-cream. It gives us pleasure.

Little Seeds Of Love
One synonym for the word kindness is the term humanity. Kindness is essentially a recognition of the fact that we’re all human, an acknowledgement that we’re all in this together. Most of what makes life worth living depends on at least some of us being altruistic some of the time. We cannot address problems like global climate change, the spread of disease and political violence by appealing only to selfish motives.
The good news is that it’s easy to train ourselves to the kinder. People should simply do more acts of kindness than they usually do, and do them on a regular basis, like five sets of kindness every Monday. Kindness, then, is just a matter of choice, an attitude you carry with you that you can make a difference, however small, in someone else’s life. Kindness has to begin within ourselves. Sometimes we keep people out to keep ourselves safe, but that also isolates us from the rest of the world. Every major religion has love as a universal principle. Kindness takes love to a gentler and more accessible level that most people feel comfortable with. Showing a little bit of kindness to people recognises that everyone around you is just like yourself.

Wellbeing How To Foster Your Talent..........???

There’s more to succeeding than natural ability. Here’s how to build your skill.

• Love Your Mistakes
We crave flawless performance, but mistakes strengthen talent. Each time you stumble, your mind sharpens as it tries to correct the mistake. To improve, reach just beyond your present ability. The gap between what you know and what you want to know is where you’ll learn most.

• Slow It Down
Going slowly lets your brain register what it’s doing at each step of the process. It’s like a working blueprint. For example, if you want to learn a piece of sheet music, cut it into strips, and select random strips to practice. Tackling individual components before attempting the whole task will help you to improve.

• Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect
Clocking up practice hours is only effective if you’re focused the whole time. Research shows that even world-class pianists, chess players and athletes only practice for three to five hours a day. After you depart the deep-practice zone there’s little benefit in carrying on. How long you stay in the zone differs for everyone. Stopping early doesn’t mean you aren’t dedicated.

• Reignite Motivation
Any talent requires motivational fuel-an emotional response such as fascination or love. It’s this emotional reaction that makes you learn faster, not innate skill. Talent needs passion to grow, so refresh yours by watching, listening to or reading about your hobby.

Dare To Dream.............High Up your Goals

Once your dream has been launched, you’ll get really excited. But goals that are continually checked and overly worried about may not flourish in the way you wish them to. Imagine what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too tightly, the butterfly will be crushed; if you hold your hands too loosely, the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently


Do you harbour a secret yearning? Or perhaps you ditched your dreams long ago in the belief they’d never come true. Well, now it’s time to think big again with our life-changing plan for fulfilling your desires in seven easy steps. What’s stopping you?

1. Make Your Dream Map
Einstein - a man who knew a thing or two - said imagination was more important than knowledge. ‘Logics,’ he explained, ‘will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.’ So your first step in making your dream come true is to sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, and let your mind drift to the life you want. Imagine how you look? How do you feel in yourself? Are you fit and healthy, and how do you keep yourself so? Are you in a relationship - and if so, what’s it like? Where are you living? Describe your home. Tell yourself about your family and friends. Now, what’s your life’s work? Describe your job and your success. Make sure you do all of this in the present tense, and remember – let your imagination run riot. Let there be no boundaries. You’re living the life you desire.

2. Use the Law of Attraction
Once you’ve started to visualise and really believe that your dreams can come true, it is perfectly possible that certain desires could land in your lap sooner than you realise. This is the Law of Attraction, also known as ‘The Secret’. The basic premise is that people’s thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they’re aware of it. Essentially, if you really want something and truly believe it’s possible, you’ll get it, but putting a lot of attention and thought on to something you don’t want means you’ll probably get that too.
3. Take Baby Steps

So, how do we go from knowing and visualising our dream, and letting self-doubt melt away, to actually making that dream a concrete reality? Take small steps that help achieve the big idea. Successful people may have grand plans, but they set themselves modest targets which they can achieve. In essence, without losing sight of your big dream, you give yourself mini-goals to achieve. If you’re sitting there, wondering how to measure three per cent, don’t bother, use the term three per cent as a way of describing your first goal: a goal you feel pretty sure of achieving.

4. Hold Your Focus
Once your dream has been launched, you’ll get really excited. But goals that are continually checked and overly worried about may not flourish in the way you wish them to. Imagine, what you want is like a beautiful butterfly in your hands. If you squeeze too tightly, the butterfly will be crushed; if you hold your hands too loosely, the butterfly will simply fly away. The secret is to hold it gently.
The same is true in almost any area of our lives. There are two ways to succeed. Firstly, the hard way - tension plus continual action. Or there’s the easy way, typified by the equation - ease plus focus plus action plus inaction.
So how do we do things the second way? Cultivate ease by relaxing your body, being present in whatever you’re doing, rather than having your mind racing on to the next thing. The focus stage is all about following the Law of Attraction and this involves concentrating positively on your vision, truly inviting it and making it present.

5. Take A Leap Of Faith
As your life becomes even more inspired every day, and you head further in the direction you want to take, there may still be moments when you need to check that you’re on the right path. To make sure you step into success you have to take those last leaps of faith.
We started with the big vision, got going with the mini-goals - or our three per cent efforts - and now we may need to make a bigger commitment.
When leaving our comfort zone, we recreate our lives according to what feels right and good to us. If you remain safe, you’ll never know what could have happened, and you may regret not trying.

6. Enjoy The Journey
Ask yourself, ‘Why do I want to fulfil and live my dream?’ The chances are, ‘it’s because you want happiness and contentment.’ Don’t put this off, even when there are obstacles or challenges. Slow down, connect deeply with life, and experience beauty and sacredness.
Praying or meditating to a higher source, or simply taking a long walk in the countryside and breathing in the beauty and wonder that nature has to offer, can help you love your life. Connecting with others will also bring you joy, and even if you are having a ‘poor me’ moment, putting the focus on giving to another person immediately has the effect of taking your mind off your own problems.
The next time you’re in a conversation, practice being totally present. Tune out all other distractions and focus on hearing what’s being said. Listen with all your senses. Being totally present during your conversations is one of the greatest gestures of love you can offer.

7. Note What You’ve Achieved

You know the way kids chant, ‘Are we there yet?’ five minutes after leaving home on a long car journey? This approach is best avoided when travelling towards your dream! However, every so often, it’s good to check in with your original vision and note what you’ve achieved, and what you still have to do. Take a moment to be grateful and count your blessings.
If you encounter disappointment, or a negative emotion connected to your dream, this could be due to being overly attached to it, and holding on too tightly, trying to control the outcome. Write your attachments individually on separate strips of paper and crinkle them up. Meditate on where you feel the attachment residing in your body. Do you feel tension in your stomach or head when you think about it? Blow the energy of each attachment on to your strips of paper. Toss them into a fire one at a time, focusing your energy on letting go. Notice how you feel the energy of your attachments as you let go.
The only real purpose of a goal is to inspire you to fall more deeply in love with life. Look deep within yourself. What’s your dream right now? Whether it’s the same, or changed, make sure you journey towards it with joy and wonder. Then you’ll really have arrived.

How to Get Rid of Shyness Immediately - And Be Comfortable Around Girls

1. "Relax". Even though you might not be self-assured and comfortable in certain situations, fake it. It is essential to remember that there are a lot of fish out there, so even though you might ruin things with a girl, there are a lot of others you can try your hand with. But if you truly want a certain girl, you need to seem like you aren't really interested in her. By seeming desperate for female attention, women will not give you their time of day.
2. "Project". Imagine yourself in places completely surrounded by gorgeous girls. Then, picture yourself being really cool and suave without any confidence issues. Attempt to match this mindset to an imaginary world to make it come true.

 3. "Control the Power".
One other way to battle confidence troubles would be to get rid of the female power of rejection. By staying cool and acting as if you aren't desperate for her, you will come to find that sexual tension will begin to build, so she will be the one who will be in pursuit of you.

Anyway, you can make use of hypnosis if you really need to. One tactic known as fractionation will make sure you succeed every single time without any kind of trouble whatsoever. It is a highly powerful tactic that can help in bagging any girl you want to have sex with in merely fifteen minutes.
But before you use this technique, you must heed this warning...
Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists.
These psychology tactics are highly unconventional techniques that are used by the secret elite in the seduction community. Use at your own risk. I personally vouch for the effectiveness of these tactics, but care must be taken as they could be outright dangerous in the hands of the unscrupulous.

Sweet Dreams...

All of us are aware of the phenomenon called Dreams irrespective of the fact that we dream or not. There are those like myself, who dream every night. And then there are those like my sister who rarely dream. Dreams have always been a mystery to us. It has been revealed that the majority of us have a few similar dreams and it is possible to gain better health (mental and physical), entertainment and even financial gains from such dreams.
I, for one, can vouch for the entertainment bit. I really look forward to my state of dream as I relish the unbridled life I get to lead through my dreams. I get to play different characters in different circumstances and in the morning I get up rejuvenated after another one of my adventurous dreams.
A well known American psychic, Edgar Cayce claimed that through dreaming, people gain access to their spirit and all possible questions are answered by our inner conscious. Some dream interpretations are strange, while others are pretty understandable. We bring you five most commonly experienced dreams to help you interpret their meaning within the context of your own life.

Car Troubles

Description: This is a common nightmare among all ages, even for people who usually don't drive. In this dream, you are usually in or near a car or some other type of vehicle which goes out of control. The circumstances can vary, for example, you may find that you have no brakes, or that the steering wheel doesn't work, or that you have run out of fuel. You may also dream that you are going off the road, off a cliff, going through a red light, or crashing into an object or person.  

Interpretation: A vehicle is the symbol of our life's path. This dream arises when things are not going well for you and you are unable to control the unpleasant events happening in your life. If the car in your dream has poor control or missing parts, it suggests that your sense of control over current conditions is being compromised. "A troubled car dream always means that you are going through a change - be it changing jobs or experiencing your first pregnancy," 

Failing A Test

Description: This dream is often seen by those who have been out of school for a long time. In this dream you are prevented from passing a test in diverse circumstances. In one scenario, you find that you are unprepared to undergo the test either because you have not prepared for it or because you are missing the necessary equipment needed to sit for the exam. In another scenario you may find that you can't answer any of the questions or that the test is in some unknown language. You can also not complete the exam within the stipulated time or find that you are late in arriving at the exam hall. All these factors contribute to you failing this test.  

Interpretation: Such dreams highlight your frustration and depression. It usually means that you are feeling tested in life and may experience the fear of not being accepted. It could even imply not being prepared to face challenges or not being good enough. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations. "To dream that you are taking an exam indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinised in some way. These dreams also suggest that you are feeling unprepared for a challenge. These dreams are not about the content of the test, but rather how you are feeling while taking the exam,"

Illness Or Dying Dreams

Description: A death dream is a moderately common nightmare and it involves deaths of famous people, your parents or children, or even yourself. Occasionally, it occurs during the onset of an illness. According to American psychic, Edgar Cayce, when you dream about the accidental death of any person, that person's death symbolises something in you that is no longer functioning. 

Interpretation: This dream is related to your life and it means that you are emotionally hurt or are afraid of being hurt. "This dream may work as a warning for you to make you aware of an upcoming physical risk to yourself or a loved one. When it is someone else in the dream who dies, it can mean that you feel that part of yourself (that you see represented by that person) is also dead. It may also mean that you wish the person would go away or that you fear losing them." 

Being Chased

Description: Dreaming about being chased is also a commonly experienced nightmare. Most often the chaser in the dream is a monster or some person who is frightening; occasionally it may be an animal. Such dreams are not only horrifying and shocking, but often leave the dreamer with a lasting image of the dream. It is also worth noting that sometimes this dream is a replay of an actual event in your life. 

Interpretation:
This type of dream often results from stress. In this type of dream you feel frightened, attacked and in danger. If you dream of being chased by someone you know, this person is somehow contributing to your anxiety. If you dream of being chased by a stranger, it's possible that the stranger represents some aspect of yourself. "Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment, therefore 'chase dreams' represent your way of coping with fear or stress. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it",

Bad Or Missing Teeth

Description: Teeth dreams usually involve the discovery of extremely decayed or missing teeth in your own mouth. Common dream scenarios include having your teeth crumbling in your hands or your teeth falling out one by one with just a light tap.  

Interpretation: What does it mean when we dream about missing teeth? At the most basic level it means that we are afraid of being looked upon as unattractive. At a deeper level, it can signify a fear of embarrassment or loss of power in real life. "Sadly, we live in a world where good looks are valued highly and our teeth play an important role in conveying that image. The dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. Another rationalisation for falling teeth dream may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation"